2 posts tagged “realization”

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Finding out your true friends

Summer has gone well (: I've been spending quality time with all (or most) of the people I truly care about. As for the people I used to care about... Well, that's just it. I used to. It doesn't exactly pain me the least bit because I have realized that I gradually stopped hanging out with these friends for a reason. I personally think it's justified. Sure, I may not have realized it right away, but helps to not have classes with them.


One of them I hung out with a lot last summer. She was, or is, really sheltered and incredibly passive-aggressive. I hate passive-aggressive, at least the way she has done it. What she'll do is stick up for someone/herself, then mutter something like, "I dunno if it's a rumor..." to away the edge of what she said. I hate that so much! If you've got something to say, then say it! Don't just say something triumphant, then just beat around the god damn bush. She protects people that gossip about other people too. I have true friends that tell me when I'm not being defending justly. And she didn't do that for me. She also thinks that after hanging out once with her, that we're both completely cool now. Uh, no! That will not reverse a whole year's work!

Another one of my friends has just been recent. She's really reserved and doesn't say much about herself, but she's fun to be around; even if she's plain nuts. My friends and I hung out with her a lot during the last half of our senior year, but this past month, actually it's almost two months, she's been ignoring our calls and EVERYTHING. You can only imagine how suddenly being in a relationship made her weird. Like she flips out about the littlest things, such as not wanting anyone to know that she's in a relationship. I feel bad for her boyfriend sometimes... Then when she hangs out with my friends (I didn't want to speak with her), she didn't even hang out with them. And when asked what she has been doing the past month, she doesn't reply. This is only a snapshot of what she's been doing, or hasn't been doing, since school got out.

Having revelations about these kinds of things may make me angry sometimes, but it certainly doesn't make me sad. I have wonderful friends that stick up for me, take care of me and listen to me; and I have a loving boyfriend that doesn't give up on me, makes sure I take care of myself, and understands my being. What else do I need? I don't need this excess bullshit mentioned in the paragraphs above, that's for damn sure! (:

I love who I love, and that's all there is to it.


2 comments Tags: friends, school, relationships, realization, depart

REM mode

[ Can't Stop ]

By the Way
By the Way

Thoeurn and I were sitting at a restraunt downtown somewhere before we resummed shopping. It was a Sunday. And we were waiting for our Salt and Pepper Squid & our Happy Family dish.

One of the waitresses walks by and sets down our food, and we immdietely dig in. It was heaven in your mouth.

While we were eating, I put a slice of onion back onto the Happy Family dish and it rolled into the number 9. Lately, I've been noticing signs and seeing what they mean later. So I asked, "What would the number nine mean? It's a sign." Neither of us knew. Speaking of signs, Thoeurn told me this dream she had where she was in a house full of snakes. She didn't know what it meant, though she assumed snakes were a bad sign. There was also this random guy in the house with her. I mentioned I hardly ever remember my dreams, only when it's summer time.

REM mode - Rapid Eye Movement, she says. She even pronouces it as "rem". She explained to me that you dream during REM mode, so if you don't REM, you don't dream. Like, if something is worrying you, REM does not occur? Something of that nature.

So, now it all makes sense. I stress easily, so if school is in session, it would make sense that I wouldn't reach REM mode most nights.

I sleep dreamless.

1 comment Tags: dreams, stress, chinese food, symbols, rem, eye, movement, rapid …